That Kind Of Woman

When I realised putting ‘ME’ first was a priority.

I am far from being a perfect mum, partner, friend, sister and daughter but I always think I’m doing my best to fulfil these roles.

The two main things I felt was personally a problem for me was I wanted to try to please everyone and comparing myself to other women. I got it wrong when I started to believe the definition of perfect was being ‘That Kind Of Woman’….

I wanted to be the kind of woman who loves to cater to her man by waking up early in the morning to get his food and clothes ready for his day. The kind of women to make sure that the house is always tidy without a spec of dust. The kind of woman who is a mum that is never late dropping her child off to school without a sweat bead coming down her forehead, or kind that looks ever so glam 24/7 and manage to visit and keep in touch with friends.

However, me trying to be superwoman made me forget myself. I forgot my wellbeing to the point where my mind and body almost gave up on me…

I ended up in hospital for a week due to a nasty flare up with my crohn’s disease, which I even forgot I had by trying to be ‘That Kind of Woman’.

A week in hospital was a lifesaver, a place where this time it was about looking after me, a place where I can stop and do nothing and not be judged for it and for the first time in a long time I slept everyday without worrying.

A week in the hospital made me realise that me trying so hard to be that ‘That Kind of Woman’ actually took the joy out of motherhood and the love and fun out of my relationships. I realised if I do not put myself first how would my girls benefit from me and get that 100% dedication from me if I do not look after myself.

I’ve had crohn’s disease for 10 years and it affects my small intestine which is inflamed. It leaves me most of the time drained, fatigue and weak to do anything. Some people may disagree and say that I’m selfish… Maybe but that is what I need to do in order for me to support others, is to put myself first..

I just thank God that he has bless me with an amazing family support unit. X